


Date Night

by Varmint



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Date Night, F/M, Humor, Idiots in Love, One Shot, POV Alternating, Public Display of Affection, Rare Characters, Rare Pairings, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Violence Treated Nonchalantly, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:49:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27811033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Varmint/pseuds/Varmint
Summary: The Creeper and Harley Quinn's most recent date night; from three different points of view. One-shot! Creeper/Harley Rare Pair. Come in and check out the insanity.
Relationships: Creeper/Harleen Quinzel, Creeper/Harley Quinn
Kudos: 3





	Date Night

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Real quickly, I'd just like to say that this doesn't really take place in any specific universe because... well... I couldn't be bothered. So just take it as it is and don't think too deeply into it. This is supposed to be a silly one-shot more than anything. And special thanks to Evolution-500 from FF.net who helped me out with this- seriously, without you, I probably never would have even finished this.
> 
> All of the songs that helped me write this, also, are Steam Powered Giraffe songs, specifically Me and my Baby, I Don't Have a Name for It, I'll Rust With You, and Eat Your Heart. Check 'em out if you like boppy little songs that are just tooth-rottingly sweet.

Saturday nights in Gotham were always dangerous to work. But her boss had needed someone to cover Ernie's shift because the jerk had ended up in the hospital _again_ because he still had not learned his lesson about drinking too much when he lived in an apartment that asked him to climb four flights of stairs if he wanted to get to his _proper_ space.

The last time she worked a Saturday had been a full year ago- and that had been the Saturday that had taught her that working on those days was akin to having a _death wish_. Even though she was currently employed in one of those jobs that _no_ _one_ would ever consider to be dangerous... she had wound up around a block away from a fight between Gotham's dark protector and her clown prince of crime.

The explosions and gunshots had been over the top and much too close for comfort. So, yes, she learned her lesson. Even though thrift stores were supposed to be _safe places_ because they were built for the kinds of people that _needed_ , rather than _wanted_... Gotham was insane. Most days were naturally dangerous because of the superpowered crime that ran rampant; but Saturdays were absolutely brutal for the average, hard-working, not criminally-inclined citizen.

For a whole generation, Saturday nights were dangerous because people drank too much and drunk driving accidents skyrocketed. That had been decades ago, though. Nowadays the reason why Saturday nights were dangerous was because _criminals_ drank too much. And if they were dangerous sober, they were outright _reckless_ inebriated.

With a shuddering inhale, Shay crossed her arms over her chest and hugged herself tightly. Her heart was crashing loudly within its house, letting her know that she truly was getting stressed over working on such an inopportune day.

"You just have to survive until closing. Nine pm and you're free. Just keep your head until then."

It was five in the afternoon now. Only four more hours to go and she was going to be fine; she didn't even have to worry about transportation tonight. Everything was going to be fine... just as long as all of the usual crazies of Gotham were pleased with other distractions enough to not attempt to break into the open thrift shop.

"Stupid Ernie... Stupid Mirna... They're both supposed to know how much I hate working this stupid shift." she muttered to herself for a moment, then forced herself to breathe out heavily and tear her hands away from the upper arms they were holding.

There really wasn't much she needed to do on the shift, honestly. If not for the fact that she lived in Gotham, she would probably _like_ this shift. Customers barely ever stopped by and those that did were usually in a hurry to get their business over with as quick as possible so they could return to their homes before the crazies came out to play. All she really had to do was seem somewhat productive behind the cash register, help whoever needed it, and then lock up.

Seriously, if not for the fact she lived in Gotham, this would be dream come true. Because even the pay was pretty good; for _United States_ standards. It was amazing that the minimum pay she was given could actually give New York wage a run for its money.

Gotham had kind of turned into a tourist-trap ever since the Bat had appeared, so it wasn't surprising that the city itself had come across some of that money that had been sucked away all those decades ago. And it was very probably _because_ of the Bat that not all of that new money was stolen away by the politicians that had done a good job at sucking Gotham dry in the past.

Rumor had it that Mirna was actually the daughter of one of the rising crime bosses in Gotham and she had opened up this 'new-age' thrift shop as a cover for her father's money-laundering business; and _that_ was the reason the pay here was so good... _and_ the reason why the employee screening process was so rigorous. But Shay had never personally seen any shady kind of activity going on about the store outside of Dany and Ernie selling illegal fireworks and Mirna smoking marijuana that was most definitely not medicinal.

"Everything's going to be fine." she tried to reassure herself now, scrolling through her phone so she could pick out a new musical playlist that was more to her taste and _not_ to Dany's trap enjoying taste. "You're going to put on some nice little tunes and enjoy this easy shift. And then Andrea's going to pick you up and we'll have a grand old time watching old westerns with Mochi begging for too many treats. It'll be great."

As she decided on a song from her playlist so it could begin to play from the speakers on the ceiling, Shay took a chance and glanced over at the top of her phone's screen to see what time it was.

**5:04**

This was going to be a long shift.

* * *

For the past month, there had been an undeniable buzz to the criminal underground- it was worrying at best, outright _dangerous_ at worst.

Batman had gotten wind of Harley Quinn declaring all crime legal _as long as it stayed to the north of Gotham City and steered clear from the south_ when Selina had informed him that something big was going down on Saturday, October 24th. She hadn't known what was going to happen and she hadn't _wanted_ to know either- she was busy avoiding Harley... Batman wasn't sure why but he didn't ask her either. The farther Selina stayed from bad influences in her life, the more likely it was she wouldn't fall back on criminal ways.

Ever since the Joker and Harley Quinn had officially broken up, something unexpected and highly _unpredictable_ had occurred- Harley Quinn had become the one most criminals decided to answer to. All of the odds had been in Joker's favor... but somehow... she had managed to gain the power that was supposed to have stayed with the Joker.

There was not a mystery as to how this had occurred. Unfortunately, Batman knew exactly what Quinn had done to make sure the underground answered to her before they answered to her ex... the Creeper's stay in Gotham had gone on for too long for his liking and the influence he had acquired about Gotham's criminals was _disturbing_.

Where Joker ruled with a maddened fist, Creeper gallivanted with a maddened _smile_. Harley and he had somehow become the newest power couple in Gotham's criminal sector... and while Batman could admit that the brutally violent crime rate had gone down, the less _serious_ crimes were on the rise.

In what world were foam noodles and kiddie pools more likely to be stolen than precious gems? Somehow, he had gotten to experience such a world; the answer was a simple one: in a world where Harley Quinn and Creeper preached fun to their underlings over greed.

Previously, Batman had believed that someone had managed to break into the Creeper's deranged mind- that had been the only explanation he had been able to come up with that would make the Creeper and Harley Quinn's hurricane romance make any sense. But now, months after they had gotten together and still stayed strong, he knew that the explanation was different.

The Creeper and Joker had both been created by an untimely dip in a vat of chemicals from ACE Chemicals. Very likely, a genetic re-write had taken place- leading to the drastic change in both individuals. And in that, a predisposition to equally deranged lovers had been established.

The Creeper was drawn to Harley Quinn just as Joker had been- but because the Creeper was fundamentally a better person, his romance with the ex-psychiatrist had not taken on a toxic or volatile edge, as what had happened with the Joker.

To save Jack Ryder, Batman knew what had to be done. And while it hurt to think that he would have to say a final goodbye to the Creeper- because he was not blind to the good in the being's heart or the skills he brought to the world-, he knew that he needed to work to save Jack Ryder. He could not allow an innocent to suffer and throw his life away in a romance he could not stop himself from wanting.

But that was not something he could focus on tonight.

Tonight was the night, after all. And he knew for a fact that something big was about to go down in the south side of Gotham City- _his_ city.

It wasn't going to be easy to deal with all of the criminality that would break out after Harley Quinn had deemed the northern side free-game and, admittedly, he had called on some of his family to aid him in quelling whatever took place there. But he knew that whatever Quinn and Creeper were planning for the south side could cost the lives of thousands- his family could take care of the north, he needed to take care of the deranged lovers.

* * *

Tonight was the night! It had taken months of planning, quite a few greased palms, a smidgen of blackmail threats, and the faintest dash of creative problem solving via bone rearrangement, but _finally_ their night on the town was nigh!

"Baby, Toots, Babes, Eternal Sunshine in my Life- you're my Four-Leaf Clover Girl and I just wanted to remind you!"

Call him a hopeless romantic, he didn't care. Harley Quinn was the most perfect individual he had ever managed to meet in his life and he knew that she only brought sunshine, happiness, and fuzzy feelings to him.

Gotham City at night was beautiful- the mugginess of the sky, the faintest hint of desperation in the air, the random interval of out of commission streetlamps... it was almost as beautiful as the woman currently hugging onto his arm.

"Aw, you're too nutty, Cupcake! I could just eat you up!" the kiss that was pressed to his cheek at that moment left his heart hammering like a jackhammer and Creeper, once again, counted himself as the luckiest man on the planet that was this Earth.

The warmth that was currently encompassing his whole body was stifling, but boy was it comforting! Whenever _his girlfriend_ \- ha, suck on _that_ whoever thought he wasn't good enough for Harley Quinn herself!- was close to him, he didn't really feel cold; he was starting to think that he _couldn't_. And he would worry about it if he cared... but he didn't. So he just continued living a happy life knowing that Harley Quinn was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he was prepared to do _anything_ that was required of him to keep her happy.

Well... most anything... he wasn't about to start eating olives now after a whole lifetime of wishing their absolute erasure from the realm of the living, after all.

The streets of Gotham were sparsely commuted at this early hour and whoever was on the sidewalk was kind enough to cross the street and run away, leaving up all the space he and Harley needed to walk comfortably- they were _so thoughtful_! Seriously, he didn't know what was Batman's problem with Gotham- ever since he had officially moved here, everything had been _poifect_!

The southside of Gotham was filled with all sorts of cute little shops he knew for a fact would house the kind of treasures the Eternal Sunshine in his Life deserved to grab a hold of- that's why he had been so insistent on breaking the knee caps of the people that tried to _impede_ on his plans. Ah, those Silly Billies sure had changed their tune when they had needed to head towards the hospital to fix up their small problem.

First they had hit a quaint little taco stand to get an early snack to fuel their subsequent shopping trip- and the manager had been so kind that everything had been on the house!

Seriously, Gotham was filled with the _best_ people.

Afterwards, they had started to walk through the streets, just checking up on what shops there were. Their conversation as they walked was filled with inconsequential, lovey-dovey nothings that would be considered baby-talk if not for the fact that they were both grown adults.

When they came across a thrift shop that was _painted like an actual treasure chest_ , he had immediately known that they had needed to head inside.

It was even called _Hidden Treasures_! The X-mark on the map couldn't have been any more clear!

"Love of my life, follow me!"

Harley giggled and allowed him to drag her inside, all the while calling him an excitable puppy that needed a leash unless she wanted to lose him.

* * *

Her chest was feeling particularly tight now. Shay chalked that up to the baseless feeling of foreboding that insisted on crawling around in the back of her head. And she was pretty damned annoyed by it.

There were only five minutes left before she was allowed to start locking up. That meant that there were twenty minutes left before nine p.m. hit and she could lock up completely and leave this place behind. So there really was _absolutely no reason_ for her to still be feeling so apprehensive.

Just like many other night shifts Ernie had described to her, nothing actually _happened_. A couple of customers trickled in, shifted through the wares they had to sell, bought some stuff, and started up tiny bits of conversations. There had been the usual blend of rude and polite customers she faced on her regular shift. A party of college students had come in at some point and chatted about how wonderful this place was because they could get all sorts of items they could repurpose for their show and she had been invited to go to some club next week where they would be hosting a drag show.

All in all, everything had been _tame_.

But last year, she had been forced to run for her life when her life had gotten _too close_ to the insanity of Gotham's main tourist attraction. So she guessed that her body was just stressing out over the possibility of what danger she could run into once she left the store.

With a sigh, Shay shook her head and sent a quick text to Andrea to let her know she would like some saké with their takeout. The route they would be taking wasn't really all that commonly transited nor was it part of the major roads, so they wouldn't have to worry about criminal encounters- _hopefully_. And the route wasn't _so_ popular that it crossed through big places like banks or museums with precious jewels, so they shouldn't run into any of those heists either.

"Just nineteen more minutes."

Her heart was loud within her ribcage and she tried to ignore it, all the while she put on a new song. It was an upbeat song with a funky rhythm- hopefully the happiness of this song would help distract her for a bit from the anxiety she was currently fighting off.

For a moment, she contemplated raising the volume... and she decided that it was already late enough that no new customers would walk in- the music became louder than a soft hum and she smiled softly at the odd sense of freedom such an action caused.

Within a minute, her plan of action proved to be pretty successful. In little to no time, she found her body moving to the rhythm of the music, beginning to bop her head and shoulders just as she began to mouth the lyrics.

Just as the song began to crescendo, she turned her back to the main door, moving into the hallways of the store to begin making sure everything was in its place before she began to sweep up.

The door chimed to let her know someone had just walked in as she made her way into the back to find the broom. And she frowned.

 _Of_ _course_ someone would come in just when she was only fifteen minutes away from closing up shop.

"Welcome to Hidden Treasures." she called, releasing the handle of the broom before she took a step back and out of the supply closet. "Do you need help with anything?"

"None at all! We're just perousing!"

That was an odd way of saying perusing; but Shay shrugged to herself and made to grab the broom once again. The voice that had answered her sounded mostly good-spirited and absolutely confident- if she was lucky, these customers would be out of her hair in no time.

So she began to sweep up the less visited nooks of books and musical instruments, humming to herself as another song from the same band started up; this one just as happy as the one she had previously put on.

"Oh, this is just adorable!"

Huh, she'd never heard that type of accent outside of TV before. Then again, she was still pretty new to Gotham after having lived here only two years. And having come from a state where _no one_ spoke like that, it kind of made sense this was the first time she heard such a thick accent.

"Aw, everything's so cute, Banana Nut Cupcake!" the woman of the the duo said, voice lilting in excitement that was just about infectious. "And this song's a bop! Great choice, disembodied voice!"

Shay laughed at this and thanked the customer.

Okay. This was fine. The night was going to end on a high-note if these two really were her last customers.

She continued to sweep as those two continued to look around the common areas. And then, once she was done with those areas few regularly visited, Shay began to make her way towards the front of the shop.

As soon as she caught sight of the two that were standing before the cashier's desk, with a whole bunch of items splayed over the top, her breath caught in her lungs.

"Oh, the voice has a body!"

Unnaturally white skin wasn't something she witnessed often. There were only two beings she had ever known held such inhuman tints to their skin. And both of those people were well-known criminals in Gotham.

Shay's whole body froze. An unnatural chill came over her whole being. It was as if her lungs were physically incapable of functioning; she wasn't breathing anymore.

"You know, Harley, I never would have guessed it. I honestly believed this shop was run by friendly ghosts." the man with the bright yellow skin remarked in a conversational tone, as if he was pointing out something he was actually caught off guard by, rather than something he was joking about.

Harley, he had called the woman beside him.

There weren't that many Harley's in the world with skin as white as paper. And the accent was just too specific for this person to be anything other than either an incredibly tasteless and _dedicated_ cosplayer... or the real deal.

"Toots, have you finished looking at everything you want to buy?" the yellow-skinned man turned to look over at the pale clown with the bright blonde hair, a goofy look coming over his face as his eyes drooped as soon as they fell upon her. "I need to count up what needs to be paid to the unfortunately _not_ disembodied voice."

She was frozen in place. She couldn't move towards the cashier area- even though she was beginning to think that she _needed_ to get there before she ended up as another statistic about nighttime crime in Gotham.

Her feet wouldn't _budge_ though.

And she certainly didn't want to get any closer to those two.

Not to Harley _freaking_ Quinn!

"Yup, Cupcake! Ain't this cookie jar just the sweetest thing you've ever seen in your life?" _Harley freaking Quinn_ picked up a clown shaped cookie jar that was most definitely _not_ the sweetest thing Shay had ever see in her life and was much better described as terrifying than adorable.

That had been one of those items Mirna had displayed for the heck of it, even though she knew no one in their right mind would pay for it. A pale white, _creepy_ looking clown popped out of a faded brown barrel with a sign that read **Cookies** and absolutely _no one_ had ever been interested in buying this cookie jar; people had only ever commented on how diabolical and creepy it was.

"I don't know, my Four-Leaf Clover Girl," the yellow skinned man's smile faltered at the sight of the cookie jar, lips instead pursing, "It kind of reminds me of He Who Shall Not Be Named Lest I Try and go on a Murder Crusade That'll End with the Bat Real P.O.'ed at Me."

This was absurd.

The shock was not leaving- but a bit of amusement was starting to edge in at Shay's subconscious.

Neither of these two seemed to be particularly... _criminal_ tonight. And the man had actually talked about paying up... maybe they were here under legitimate purposes, rather than to rob the shop?

Oh, how she hoped that was the reason why these two were here...

"It looks nothing like that sack of skin and sadness!" the woman immediately refuted, but took a moment to look over the cookie jar before finally shrugging. "What if we buy it to blow it up? Would that make you _not_ go on a crusade to murder my ex?"

With eyes slowly losing the wideness born from fear and shock, Shay looked back at the man to find him now _sitting_ on the counter, whole body poised in a mock recreation of the Thinker. With his hand solidly on his chin, she was now able to see that there was a colorful bracelet on his wrist that matched one of the many bracelets the woman wore.

Was that... a _candy_ bracelet?

"You drive a hard bargain, girly." he hummed after a few seconds spent thinking, but he soon snapped his fingers and smiled broadly once more, "Throw in a break-in at Arkham to visit Poison Ivy and the Flying High Kite and you've got yourself a deal!"

Oh, there was the fear again. There was no doubt about it now- these two really were part of that superhuman side of Gotham that was constantly putting the lives of the regular population in danger...

"Of course, Cupcake!" she jumped with a happy squeal, hopping her way towards the counter to place the horrible cookie jar on top of all the other things they had picked out while Shay had been sweeping. "How's about we go visit them our next date night? Maybe the Bat'll even have He Who Shall be Loathed for All Eternity back behind bars so we can make fun of him with our freedom!"

Hopping down to the ground, the green hair on the man's head became just a bit more bright with the way the light hit it. And it was because of this fact that Shay's mind suddenly supplied the _actual_ name of the second criminal to have entered her workplace: Creeper.

The Creeper and Harley Quinn were _in her workplace_...

Was this a dream?

No... if anything, this would be a _nightmare_ \- no matter how cliché'd that would be.

"Sounds good to me, my Brooklyn Originated Leprechaun!" the man wrapped an arm around the woman's shoulders in a semi-hug, pressed an incredibly loud kiss to her cheek, and then turned back to the counter to look at the things they had picked out. "Alright, let me just pay for all of these things and we can start heading out!"

The crazed clown villainess _giggled_ , a look much too mushy and heartfelt to be genuine on a _sociopath_ came over her face, and then she moved her hand behind the man's body... was she... was he really feeling him up?

Still stuck in place, Shay then had the terrible fortune of seeing the man pull out the kind of blue bag that was usually seen on a mailman's body when they went on their delivery rounds... where had that even come from?

"Alright, this is worth a pence." he muttered as he picked up a none-too impressive white button up shirt, "But I am willing to give a farthing due to the exceptional musical tastes of the not-disembodied voice." after this, he picked up a leather-bound notebook and smiled happily, "This is definitely worth a gold necklace," and then he pulled out the cookie jar he so didn't like, frowned, and scoffed, "If it didn't remind me of the White Devil himself, I would be willing to give it a priceless amulet. But-"

Now the woman raised the hand she had lowered behind his back to end up on his shoulder, tutted softly, and just... _looked_ at the Creeper. The man tried his best to not have to look back at her... but eventually he gave up, looked at her, and- did his hair _sag_ a little at the same time his frown appeared?

"Don't be a scab, Honey Suckle."

The man _whined_ , but soon sighed and nodded, pulling out a beautiful necklace with a bright amulet that was without a doubt much too polished, elaborate, and _old_ to be carted around in a random delivery bag.

"I'll give the amulet for the jar." he finished softly, then continued to go on over the rest of the items they had picked out, pulling out various different kinds of trinkets and artefacts Shay knew, _for a fact_ , belonged in a museum.

After a few minutes, he asked for a bag to take their stuff in.

Mutely, Shay pointed towards the back of the counter where they had some reusable tote bags- he thanked her with a smile and a wink, only to then hop over the counter and pull out a few of them.

Harley Quinn commented on the cute designs on some of them before they began to store their newly acquired items... which had been paid for with... undoubtedly stolen items.

_Oh no..._

Mirna would have her head...

"Let's bring Selena here next time, Banana Nut Cupcake." the woman smiled broadly as she hugged the cookie jar to her chest as Creeper finished up storing everything in the bags. "I'm sure she'd love all of the cute cat things they're selling."

"Only if Tricksy-Wicksy can come along." he smiled as he hefts most of the bags up, all the while the woman grabbed onto the last bag.

"Ah, but breakin' 'em outta Arkham'll be a pain! Why can't we hang out with some o' your heroic friends?"

"Because they're _boring_ and _lawful_ and Batman's _still_ trying to find out if I'm being mind-controlled because I'm dating you."

And so they left, conversing with each other about the logistics of match-making Catwoman the aforementioned individuals... and Shay could only stare on at their disappearing forms, too stunned and properly terrified to try and do anything.

Saturday nights in Gotham City were dangerous... and incredibly weird.

* * *

Rain started falling at exactly 9 p.m.

Robin and Nightwing had already managed to stop ten different small-scale robberies, Batgirl, Red Robin, and Red Hood had put a stop to a joint attack on Gotham PD by the Joker and Penguin, and Oracle and Spoiler had already managed to ensure that Arkham and its inmates were all still in their proper place and no one had managed to slip through the cracks. Huntress and Catwoman had even decided to pitch in and were currently on standby, waiting for the signal from Alfred to descend if the help was needed.

All of the members of his family had done more than their fair share on this worrying night... and in the meantime, all he had managed to do was track his targets down. _Ineffectively._

 _"Have you found anything to lead you to the deranged lovebirds?"_ Oracle checked in once again and Batman frowned in mounting frustration.

"Nothing."

What could they be plotting that would require _this_ much uncharacteristic stealth? Neither Creeper nor Harley did anything _subtle_ , it wasn't in their nature.

Whatever they were planning... he needed to find them. _Fast_.

 _"I think I found something, B."_ Huntress piped in through the line, _"An employee at a thrift shop said that a woman called Harley Quinn and a man named Creeper just left her shop_ _."_

Batman frowned.

Halloween was fast approaching and some people seemed to be breaking out their costumes early.

 _"Sounds like freaks- but not our freaks."_ Robin growled, _"Father, I am starting to think that we are being misdirected."_

"I would too if not for the fact that it's Creeper and Harley."

The rooftop he was currently perched on allowed him to look over a large part of the southern area of Gotham- and he noticed that even with the rain falling, there were still quite a few people walking about.

 _"I think Huntress is onto something."_ Oracle began after a few minutes of tense silence, Red Hood grunted that freaks were everywhere and roleplaying villains wouldn't be too freaky for some people. _"The police are agreeing that the items the couple left belong to the Gotham City Museum- they're artifacts that were stolen four months ago."_

Batman's eyes narrowed and he immediately asked for the location of the shop.

What were those two up to?

* * *

The night had been perfect.

"I love this song, Banana Nut Cupcake... how'd you know to play it?"

Dancing underneath a full moon with the rain drizzling softly around you, essentially bathed in moonlight and _love_... it really put into perspective what was important in life.

With a slight shrug, he pushed Harley away from him for a moment then pulled her back into his chest, her back hitting it, and made a point of hugging her by the waist as they swayed to the song. It was a beautifully upbeat song and dancing with Harley put a pep into his step that made the song even more enjoyable... cheesy as the lyrics may have been.

"I guess I'm just suffering from something kind of like love." he smiled and pressed a quick kiss to the side of her neck. "Do you have the dynamite?" the song was about to end, after all, and the grand finale to their date was awaiting.

"Of course!"

Separating from their embrace, his Four Leaf Clover ran towards the mail bag he had lugged around- it contained their most precious loot and, well, it wouldn't really be surprising to find out she had stashed some dynamite in there just for the heck of it even though it was supposed to be a peaceful date night.

The violent one was going to be had on Valentine's Day.

Creeper placed his hands on his chest and just marveled at the sight of his girlfriend shoving a few sticks of dynamite into the cookie jar he so _absolutely loathed_. Her movements, while simple, were elegant; hypnotizing, even. But that wasn't a surprise, really, just about everything she did was breathtaking.

And the scenery they now had... wonderful.

The parking lot of the South Gotham Courthouse wouldn't be considered by many to be a perfect spot for a date, but those people were losers that wouldn't know beauty if it slapped them in the face. It was also the place where Harley had stashed a large amount of dynamite for a heist she had wanted to dedicate to the ex that was never to be named unless someone wanted to set Creeper _off_ and _not live to regret it_ \- but she had never gotten around to it and now they were repurposing the set up. Good dynamite should never go to waste.

This night was going to end with a bang- a perfect ending for a perfect date.

With a melodious shout, Harley kicked away a tile below one of the structural-support pillars, leaned down, grabbed something, and turned around to skip back to him.

Oh, the dynamite in the demonic clown was sizzling.

Offering his hand, Creeper allowed a sadistic smile to come over his lips as he watched the fire slowly grow closer and closer to the actual stick of dynamite. The most wonderful woman in the world grabbed hold of his hand and hugged his side just in time to watch the porcelain of the demon explode from within- hideous shards blasting off as a beautiful explosion destroyed the disgusting little thing.

"I love you, Banana Nut Cupcake." Harley whispered into his ear just as she pressed the button on the detonator in her hand.

Creeper's heart just about _died_ when the South Gotham Courthouse ceased to exist, giving its life to allow a lightshow of brilliant reds, whites, and blues to fill up the night sky. The destruction of the building came first, imploding from all of the explosives that had been implanted within its structure, and then the night sky filled with wonderful messages _for him from the love of his life_.

His arm's grip around Harley's waist tightened and he heard her giggle.

"Harley Quinn, you are the love of my life." he whispered into her own ear, even amidst the loud crackling of the destruction the most perfect woman in the world had caused with a simple click of a button.

That dumbass had lost out on the best thing that had ever happened and now she was Creeper's.

 _Jerk's_ loss, Creeper's _gain_.

* * *

His search led him to the South Gotham Courthouse.

He couldn't believe he had thought that Harley's claims of leaving an explosive gift at the courthouse had simply been mad ravings to get the Joker's attention back on her!

Then again... she had said such a thing at least two years ago and nothing had ever come from her ravings. It had been stricken down as another inconsequential thing to leave the deranged woman's mouth without a need to check up on her claims... he should have checked. This would have been avoided if he had just _done his job_.

Now one of the oldest buildings in Gotham had ceased to exist and that was _on him_.

He needed to do better.

He reached the parking lot too late. The only trace of Harley and Creeper's presence had been a mail-bag that had been left behind and a Ziploc bag with a white sheet inside of it.

The weight on his shoulders was heavy as he picked up the item... and then he frowned.

_'If you promise to not experiment on Creeper, you and a +1 can tag along for our next date night, Tall, Dark and Broody._

_Love, Harley Quinn'_

Gotham was a changed city after Joker and Harley Quinn had split up... and nothing would ever be the same again.

* * *

"Tonight was perfect, Creepsy-Weepsy."

Creeper bumped his nose into Harley's, rubbed them together, and smiled broadly.

The train car they were riding on was pretty empty so he didn't have to feel bad about making anybody uncomfortable with the PDA- probably that was due to the fact that they had started up the train even after the stations had closed.

"Yes it was. And not even the Bat bothered us."

But that wasn't a surprise. With his Lucky Charm around, it was only natural that they only experienced Good Juju.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this story! I know that I loved writing it.


End file.
